Hi. It’s been awhile. I thought I lost this account already but glad I didn’t. Now I’m back. Hopefully to be more consistent henceforth. I’ve been on vacation since March and coincidentally, been invited to several reunions already. =)
Not that I am getting tired of being reacquainted with the past, but you see, reunions have a way of also making us feel good. We get acquainted with far flung relatives we never knew existed, we acknowledge kinship with total strangers, and meet some kins we’d rather avoid.
Oftentimes, being the “accomplished mariner” that I am, i am expected to donate lechon at the reunion party. That is manageable. The hard part comes after dining...when relatives/acquaintances start approaching me to introduce a son/nephew/grandchild/ godchild whom they wish me to help find work onboard.
I am a fan of St. Augustine and a devout believer of “teaching men to fish so they can eat forever” instead of, well, just giving them fish so they could eat in a day. Modesty aside, I have already helped several people go onboard: relatives, friends, acquaintances, even total strangers! But lately, I have learned the virtue of saying “no” without having to feel guilty. Of the people I’ve helped, some have turned out to be a “liability.”
Just very recently for example, a friend asked to help his brother go on board which I did. The aspirant went to my crewing office, submitted his papers, and manifested his desire to be hired ASAP. Being a newbie however, it’s customary that they enlist as utility first. This newbie refused to serve as such. He insisted that since I, a “captain” was the one who referred him, he need not “start from the bottom” already but should go onboard right away and work as an AB – immediately! Worse, when he felt he was being made to wait, he withdrew all his documents and reasoned out that another relative from a different agency was willing to hire him!
So he did as he was pleased. Months after, I got a call from his brother asking me to help him get apply to my agency – again. With a lump in my throat, and with the awareness that my friend might misconstrue my decision, I said “no.” I could not risk humiliating myself by recommending such an arrogant applicant just because I am already a “captain.”
Oftentimes, especially to close friends and relatives, I openly disclose how I struggled in my early years as a seafarer. I hopped from one agency to another, passing their exams and yet, without any explanation or valid reason, get rejected. I have spent countless hours, bereft of sleep, hungry, exhausted, anxious, but nevertheless hopeful, queuing up outside an agency in the hope that I would be hired. I had no relatives who could help me. I didn’t know anyone to approach so I could finally be given a break! Those many days of ordeal finally paid off when I was hired.
But of course the struggle did not end at the point of being hired. Onboard my first few vessels, I struggled further. I was a utility, a messman, a kitchen helper, I was a Jack-of-all-trades! I was discriminated against, bullied, ordered around like a slave, and spent many, more countless nights crying in my cabin, nursing my frost bites, licked my runny nose, bled, perspired, even had my wrist broken one time when I mishandled a rope.
Ahhh, during those times, struggle and agony were my constant company. Nobody but my dreams inspired me. Nothing but my faith sustained me.
And now, people come to me asking for my help. And just because I am a captain they think they can take shortcuts to success! Tsk! Tsk!
That’s why I try to say no. Not because I have become calloused or arrogant already but because I know the value of sacrifice and persistence. And based on experience, I can most definitely say, THERE AREN’T ANY SHORTCUTS TO SUCCESS. Because the only time one ever needs to start on top is when they are digging a hole. And that is the surest way to go down.
Not that I am getting tired of being reacquainted with the past, but you see, reunions have a way of also making us feel good. We get acquainted with far flung relatives we never knew existed, we acknowledge kinship with total strangers, and meet some kins we’d rather avoid.
Oftentimes, being the “accomplished mariner” that I am, i am expected to donate lechon at the reunion party. That is manageable. The hard part comes after dining...when relatives/acquaintances start approaching me to introduce a son/nephew/grandchild/ godchild whom they wish me to help find work onboard.
I am a fan of St. Augustine and a devout believer of “teaching men to fish so they can eat forever” instead of, well, just giving them fish so they could eat in a day. Modesty aside, I have already helped several people go onboard: relatives, friends, acquaintances, even total strangers! But lately, I have learned the virtue of saying “no” without having to feel guilty. Of the people I’ve helped, some have turned out to be a “liability.”
Just very recently for example, a friend asked to help his brother go on board which I did. The aspirant went to my crewing office, submitted his papers, and manifested his desire to be hired ASAP. Being a newbie however, it’s customary that they enlist as utility first. This newbie refused to serve as such. He insisted that since I, a “captain” was the one who referred him, he need not “start from the bottom” already but should go onboard right away and work as an AB – immediately! Worse, when he felt he was being made to wait, he withdrew all his documents and reasoned out that another relative from a different agency was willing to hire him!
So he did as he was pleased. Months after, I got a call from his brother asking me to help him get apply to my agency – again. With a lump in my throat, and with the awareness that my friend might misconstrue my decision, I said “no.” I could not risk humiliating myself by recommending such an arrogant applicant just because I am already a “captain.”
Oftentimes, especially to close friends and relatives, I openly disclose how I struggled in my early years as a seafarer. I hopped from one agency to another, passing their exams and yet, without any explanation or valid reason, get rejected. I have spent countless hours, bereft of sleep, hungry, exhausted, anxious, but nevertheless hopeful, queuing up outside an agency in the hope that I would be hired. I had no relatives who could help me. I didn’t know anyone to approach so I could finally be given a break! Those many days of ordeal finally paid off when I was hired.
But of course the struggle did not end at the point of being hired. Onboard my first few vessels, I struggled further. I was a utility, a messman, a kitchen helper, I was a Jack-of-all-trades! I was discriminated against, bullied, ordered around like a slave, and spent many, more countless nights crying in my cabin, nursing my frost bites, licked my runny nose, bled, perspired, even had my wrist broken one time when I mishandled a rope.
Ahhh, during those times, struggle and agony were my constant company. Nobody but my dreams inspired me. Nothing but my faith sustained me.
And now, people come to me asking for my help. And just because I am a captain they think they can take shortcuts to success! Tsk! Tsk!
That’s why I try to say no. Not because I have become calloused or arrogant already but because I know the value of sacrifice and persistence. And based on experience, I can most definitely say, THERE AREN’T ANY SHORTCUTS TO SUCCESS. Because the only time one ever needs to start on top is when they are digging a hole. And that is the surest way to go down.
