I am no BANK!

Today I just got a text message from an old friend -- strictly speaking, more of an acquaintance.  He was asking how I was, explaining how he got my number, and after a lengthy justification of why he is dropping a line from nowhere, unveiled his real intention:  he wants to borrow some money.

Oh the usual discourse was of course present.  He explains how hard he tried to suppress his shame and embarrassment to reach out to me like this, but since he desperately needs my help, there goes he.  I chuckled.  Seriously, I wasn't anymore pissed off.  Perhaps I have come to transcend this state of disdain whenever I get asked to help one's need financially.  Afterall, it happens all the time!

So that text, although yes, in the beginning, it took me aback, got immediately sent to my trashbin.  On a  serious note however, it is something I still cannot reconcile.  Year after year, irregardless of whether I am on board or on vacation, friends, relatives, and yes even acquaintances approach me and ask to borrow money.  And I must confess, for quite a number of times, I heeded them.  But akin to the ten lepers who have been healed and one only came back to say "Thank you," most of those whom I have lended money to never paid their debts -- or worse, have cut all our ties.  And up to now, their reasons for choosing to fool me into believing they were sincere in their intention to pay back what they owe me remain something I cannot really, truly decipher.

From a  greater perspectives, many OCWs/OFWs like myself fall prey to these opportunists.  It's ridiculous how many expect us to dispose our hard-earned money just like that when none of them -- not even one's spouse -- has any idea how much struggle we went through to be able to earn every cent in our bank account.

In reunions for example, it is almost customary for batchmates to expect that the "seaman" calls the treat.  Some more calloused peers even manage to blatantly ask for a "pasalubong" if not to "utang para ilista sa tubig." Relatives can be as brazen.  Just try to imagine if three or four of them asks to borrow cash so they can finally start a business -- every single time!  (Notwithstanding the fact that four or five other relatives did the same last year and the previous years before and only God knows what happened  to their ventures!)

I seriously believe in the law of karma -- of reaping what we sow.  In those few times I have shared my financial blessings -- especially to those in dire need of it -- I did so because I sincerely wanted to be of help.  Ever so often however, I get frustrating results.  Ask my fellow seafarers.  Many of them I believe have sadder, more painful stories to share.

I wish everyone back home would finally come to realize that we are no BANKS! We are no different from they who work 9-5 and return home at the end of each working day.  The idea that we, the OFWs/OCWs own fat bank accounts is just an illusion.  Every cent in our remittance carries with it remnants of our sacrifices, loneliness, and struggles.  Unless the people back home -- friends, relatives, and acquaintances -- alter their avaricious attitude, we will always be perceived as BANKS.  But even ATMs (banks) go offline, don't they?   =(

Sept. 25, 2011 is 16th National Seafarers' Day

The entire nation now observes the 16th National Seafarers' Day by virtue of Presidential Proclamation Mo. 1094 signed by then Pres. Fidel V. Ramos.  Many Eucharistic Sunday Masses today are celebrated to honor seafarers like myself. In 2009 alone, the Philippine Overseas Employment Administration recorded a total of 330,424 Filipino seafarers who were deployed.* So a huge chunk of those who man the various vessels around the world are Filipinos.  Perhaps it is this reason why Filipino seafarers are considered "sailing ambassadors" - because our profession allows us to showcase the best of our citizenship in the company of strangers.

The recognition we seafarers receive from the government is truly heart-warming.  Recently, Pres. Benigno Aquino III also signed Proclamation 183 as "The Day of the Filipino Seafarer" where he assigned the 25th day of June each year henceforth to commemorate and give honor to the  

"...Filipino seafarers [who] deserve respect, recognition and gratitude for their invaluable contribution to the national development efforts of the country; and,

WHEREAS, Filipino seafarers have become “sailing ambassadors” of the country for having demonstrated before the global maritime community the best traits of the Filipino."

The role we play in boosting global economy, "promotion of safety of life at sea and the protection of the marine environment" are among the important contributions attributed to us who sail the world. The Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas notes that within the first half of 2011 alone, we have made over $2 Billion dollars in remittance.  So as a mariner myself, I can let the figure speak for itself.  It is astounding.  People from all walks of life benefit from those remittances we send home.  We pay for the doctor who attends to our pregnant wife.  Shen she gives birth, we pay for the OB.  When the baby is out, we pay again for the Pedia.  We also pay for the yaya who helps our wife take care of the baby.  We pay the church for our baby's baptism.  We also pay for the school.  The merchants profit from us who purchase from them.  Everybody makes money out of those remittances -- out of us.  So yes, it is correct -- we are among the major players in the economy.

Such is a staggering truth - a pronouncement I make not out of conceit, but out of my own awakening.  All sectors of the society benefit from the fruits of our labor -- in the same way we benefit from them.  But the price we pay is still much higher.  Always so much more.  Because along with that every dollar we send home and every peso our loved-ones spend in return are our blood, sweat, and tears.  The company of a happy and loving family is still more satisfying than a huge remittance every month. 

So while this day maybe dedicated to us who sail the seas to brave life's storms, our thoughts are back home.  We pray each may be guided to realize (and maximize) the role each has to undertake to strengthen the family ties amid our physical absence for the most part.  Afterall, we each are sailors sailing life's rough seas.  But we can always look up to find the same blue sky wrapping us in love and one bright happy sun sustaining us from above.

Happy faring everyone!

Smile of Contentment

Just thought I had to post about his smile when his request was granted:

There goes his salute for approval -- as if to say,
"Your command has been noted Master." Heheh.

 *I enclosed a note that says, "You can only play on Fridays and Saturdays.  Always be good."  So yes, that's probably what the salute is for (and no, that gesture wasn't choreographed at all -- as reported by the photographer).


The cost:

• WW All Stars PSP UMD - PhPXXXX
• My son's smile of contentment - ***PRICELESS***

One PSP Game Coming His Way

Our vessel has just reached Annaba in Algeria.  I managed to make a quick call home and talk to my son. God I miss  him!  He sounded ecstatic to hear my voice and ask, "Dad, are you sending my PSP Superstars in Wrestling game today?"

I was caught off-guard.  He doesn't watch cable TV, hence, no access to wrestling shows.  So how did he come to know about wrestling?  And why does he want to play in on his PSP?

Ah. Kids.  I suspect he learned it in school again.  It's an affirmation that parents really cannot fully control or guard their children from being influenced by the outside forces.  I don't mind him wanting to watch wrestling.  Call it pampering, but yes, I get thrilled whenever my son asks me something he wants.  Why?  It is something I was NEVER able to do to my dad.

I come from a large family.  I was the 10th child in a brood of eleven (would have been the 12th  if the 2nd and 8th child didn't die).  And of the eleven (living children), I was one of the least favorite.  I never got toys on my birthdays.  None of my godparents even remembered me on Christmas.  And I was definitely not my daddy's pet.  So I guess that pretty much explains why I want to "pamper" my only child now by lavishing him with what was deprived of me when I was his age.  He is the apple of my eye and he knows it.

While many of my fellow seafarers share sad stories about being alienated from their children, of coming home to discover that their children treat them as strangers on vacation, of not being able to fathom or decipher the many changes their children went through all those months/years their father had to work afar, I feel thankful for the kind of bond my son and I share.  When I'm home, he likes to sleep with me.  Yes.  He likes to be kissed, hugged, tickled, massaged.  He comes up from nowhere and tells me "Dad, I love you."  In fact, we've managed to make a "secret code" for exchanging Iloveyou's in public ---

Its just hard to explain but yes, I am really truly grateful for the kind of father-and-son connection I have with my son.  They say we all aspire to become better fathers than our fathers.  I can only pray  for guidance so I can do a good job at parenting albeit being physically absent from my son's side most of the time.



Ahhh...gotta get back to work.  Tonight, I can't imagine his grin as he unwraps the "parcel" I supposedly sent---

Yes, my boy, one PSP game coming right up!